Happy Day

Good news are always the best when you least expect it. I woke up today with no expectations except for the day to be like any other ordinary day. But by midday I have received two great news. One only has a 50% chance to be true but enough to cheer up my day and the other one is just superb. All my hard work is well worth-it. I hope this is a good indicator and hope many more good news of similar nature will come trailing behind. Coincidently the happy news came on the same day that I called my parents. So logic has it that good things happen when you remember you parents and make them happy by calling them. You may disagree with me but that is my penakulan mantik for the day. So hurry up, pick up the phone and give your love ones a ring and happy events might just come knocking on your door.

Sorry gloomy glasgow weather, I am too happy to be affected by you today.

XHTML

I attended a crash course for xhtml (something like xhtml for dummies) today. Very interesting! Now i get to meddle with the source code all i want. Ok not really. But at least i understand what most of them are better now..hehe. So look out for my new template for the not so new year soon (like after I finish all 6 essays that I have to write now). I have not wished you readers happy new year have I?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

My new year resolution for this year is not to have any new year resolutions because I have never achieved them. But maybe I would try to complain less and enjoy life as it is, be more grateful for what i have rather then dwelling on 'it would be nicer if'. See! I knew there's no point in me having new year resolutions. This year it only lasted for like 30 seconds.

So now I am going to have another go at that nuclear waste essay. Wonder if I should get a nap first..hmmm tough decision

Nothing else to clean

I'm doomed!! I have cleaned and rearranged everything that could be cleaned and rearranged in my room. So there is no more excuse for me not to start my essay on nuclear waste. So I did but I didnt get any further than typing the title. How sad. Thought it would be nice to finish an assignment early once in a blue moon. My brain cells must all be in a sleeping mode or something. Either that or I have overworked them yesterday and now they mogok...or they are plain lazy and will not function until they absolutely have too..at the eleventh hour that is. It is as if they can only work when driven by panic and pressure macam reflex bersyarat. Teruk betul!!

But tonight somehow it didnt really matter because hotfm.com.my is back in my life. I was informed that Tini played a major role in this. Thanks sooo much Tini! And thank you to the person who informed Tini (you know who you are). You guys are the greatest. So tonight i am calling it a day with the struggle to start my essay and just enjoy the music and go to la-la land while watching AC di sini with Afdlin Shauki. What a bliss!

Just in case you readers are looking for the main points of this entry, there arent any. Just rambling basically..hehehe

After A While

It has been almost a month since i last posted anything on my blog. It is not because nothing has been happening to me but more like too many things has been going on that I do not know where to start.

I suppose the easiest is to start with the most recent happenings. My new semester officially started yesterday. A semester that I have been looking forward to for the whole semester (this is quite confusing). This semester is suppose to be the happy semester with only one class and one site visit per week. The rest of the time is meant for group projects. I had a few projects in mind and I have submitted my preferences a long time ago. But, yesterday when we were given our groups i was so disappointed and devastated. I dont really mind getting my last choice but it's the team members that bugged me. It has something to do with what was happening last semester. No need for details.

At first I thought I would be brave and give it a try. Everyone deserves a second chance right? Also, in real life you dont get to chose who u work with. Grass is always greener on the other side. Plus so far everything seems to be just fine. But I want to enjoy doing my group project and not spend the entire semester having to watch my back and defending myself, alone. So in the end I chickened out and asked for another project. After a lengthy discussion with the person in charge, I finally get to get myself out of the mess.

But now I feel bad as my original project has to be aborted and I know one of the group members is really keen on it. I know I should be happy now for getting what I want but I also feel bad for unloading my risk/problem onto someone else. Risk management someone told me. Great way of putting it. Another reason for me to feel bad is because I quit before even trying. I have never done that before and it does not feel good for now. So many challenges have been thrown in my way and I managed to handle them but this time round, i quit the challenge before it even begun. I should really be ashamed of myself. I have a feeling that I am stronger than this and insyaAllah will be able to get through the hurdle had i tried -not easily but i will get through it. But that's not in question now as I quit. I am a quitter!! But is it so wrong to be selfish every now and then and be happy?

Having written all these I dont feel as bad anymore. I deserve to be happy. No more sacrificing myself for others. I am just really sorry that my happiness has to be in the expense of other people's. I hope this will be the last time I have to be in this situation. I guess I should be proud that I have at last have the courage to fight for what I want rather than just accepting my fate as usual. I know I wouldnt have done it half a year ago. I think doing my masters has helped to improve me one way or another or has it not? I guess it is the right choice to come here after all.

Bottom line is I have made a decision and I am sticking with it this time. So I will just have to live with the consequences and hope for the best.