Day 61

I am suppose to start work today. But i didn't. I decided to extend my leave until next year. So, here i am, home alone with Sarah, who is thankfully still peacefully sleeping. Really cannot imagine what it will be like to start work again and having to leave her at home. As of now, I am already feeling like a bad mom for not being able to fully breastfeed her. Now, nak tinggalkan dia for so many hours a day pulak tuh.Wonder if she will miss me while i am away for work.

I know i should be recharged and be able to start work full swing come new year but am not feeling it at all. Partly because i still cannot fit into almost all of my working clothes. Had to buy a few last week. Yes, just a few because i do not want to get too comfortable with the new size. Hopefully i will not bump into Dr evil so soon. It was hurtful enough having to hear him say over and over again that i was so big while i was pregnant and even his wife who was carrying twins pun tak sebesar i.If I have to hear him say how big i am now post pregnancy, i might just scream. Perhaps i should have done that before, so insensitive, verbally harassing heavily pregnant woman. Termengumpat pulak.

Friday

Finally, it's Friday. I will get to see him today! Today is Day 29 of pantang. It sure felt like forever. I enjoy spending time with Sarah and taking care of her. I dont mind the pantang food and dos and donts. But what i cannot take it is not seeing D everyday. I really think that husbands should be given maternity leave too or should i say paternity leave. This is the time when you need your husband the most.

I suppose it is not so much of an issue if you get to pantang in the comfort of your own home. But when you have to pantang in your hometown which is hours away and only get to see your husbands on weekends, now that's another story. At least for me. I can't do long distance. I don't know how everyone else does it but it so does not work for me. I wish they could understand this. i get stressed and depressed when we are apart. so not good for someone in pantang.

If everything goes to plan, we only have to be apart for 3 more days. Need to get everyone to agree first. now, that can be really tricky. Wish me luck :P

I'm Getting Married! :)

The decision to get married was quite a sudden one. However, much thought was put into it before i finally made the decision. Thank you D for giving me all the time i want to make my decision. That was very sweet of you. But that was almost 6 months ago.

Back then, I thought 6 months is a very long time but now I know how wrong I was. After my trip to Korea, everything seems to move so fast. There's Madhu's wedding, Divisional team building, Yellow Pages treasure Hunt and suddenly it was already my engagement weekend.

Oh yes, the engagement. It was held mid-April. It was meant to be a small get together and nothing official but i think in the end it turned into a full blast ceremony. simple but sweet. Unfortunately I didnt have an official photographer and I didnt have time to pass my camera to anyone.

Two weeks later was the nikah interview. Not pretty.

Now, here I am. 4 days to nikah day. They have started to put up the tent and the pelamin should arrive tonite. I can feel me getting nervous soon enough.

Farmville

So addicted to this now. Esok nak start keje dah. Saper nak tolong jagakan ladangku itu? padi nak masak dah..saper nak petkan lembu2, ayam and kuda2ku?

Should

I had so many things planned for this weekend but satu pun x menjadi. Akan tetapi, i have accomplished many things too. Ok la some (puasa x lih tipu) accomplishment. I cleaned my dusty show kitchen. I have also found a place to put the raya cookies and rempeyek in my kitchen.

I should be swimming now but too full. Had spaghetti kentut busuk for dinner last night. Thought of having the same today tapi esok keje so had to lupakan idea bernas tuh. Then decided to go beraya at my sis' place tapi dia ada invitation utk dinner la pulak. Can always join her but not in the mood to socialise. Last minute terasa nak makan sate. So, drove all the way to awan besar. Sampai about 6.50 pm.

Masa sampai tuh rasa sangat bangga with the impeccable timing. Beli sate 5 minutes, drive home, naik lift, just nice utk buka. But, NO! The queue had to be super long. Sorang2 lak order 200 cucuk. Pergh. Tapi deyrang ni kire efficient gak. I got my sate by 7.10 pm camtuh and customers Hj Samuri Sate pun boleh dibanggakan sebab sumer pandai beratur dgn penuh kesabaran. Lesson learnt. Pre-order! So now I have their number in my phone. Nyeh nyeh nyeh

Neighbour's Dog

It's been barking all day! Had I not been so sick, I would have gone knocking on their door much earlier. But, sick or not I just could not take it no more. So i went investigating and found the unit with the dog. A guard found the unit the same time as I did. Apparently I was not the only one complaining.

The owner was not home. The dog was locked in the house..alone. No wonder it has been barking like mad. Kesian pulak dengar. Firstly, pets are not allowed in this building. But some residence degil and nak gak simpan. I'm fine with it as long as they dont disturb my life. My home is my sanctuary. I wanna rest when I'm at home. Why la people so inconsiderate.

Kat office kena buli, kat jalan raya kena buli kat rumah sendiri pun nak kena buli ke?

First Ramadhan Weekend

Quiet.

But buka with Madhu is another story altogether. It's amazing we could still walk after the feast at the Manhattan Fish Market..now, y am i still craving for the garlic butter rice...

Ramadhan Datang Lagi

This would be my second Ramadhan in this apartment. Unlike last year when I was surrounded by friends, I welcome Ramadhan alone with Mr Rainbow this time round. So peaceful so comforting.

How time flies. It is almost a year since I moved in yet nothing much has changed. Maybe this is for the better. Hopefully this year would be a better Ramadhan for me.

Selamat berpuasa everyone and my sincerest apologies for any wrongdoings all these years.

Benci..Bosan..Menyampah

So what if my house is messy? I sparkling clean house does not guarantee my hapiness.
So what if I have gained weight? I thinner me does not guarantee my hapiness.
So what if I do not have a PhD? I PhD does not guarantee my hapiness.
So what if I am still not married? A Husband does not guarantee my happiness
So what if I am still driving the same car? A new car does not guarantee my hapiness.

When will u people get it? I like to do things in my own time, at my own pace.
The more you say "Don't" the more I want to do it.
The more you rush me the more i'll run away from it.

There, you have it. If you have nothing to say to me, then don't. I'm not that into small talk anyway. But if you still must, talk about the weather like the British or talk about food like the French. A global warming issue is also another alternative.

And if you don't know it's because I didn't want you to know because if I do want you to know I would have told you personally. Stop snooooping!

The Biggest Loser

This is my favourite show at the moment. It is just so inspirational to watch them losing hundreds of pounds, giving me a glimpse of hope of returning to how I used to look like. A time when everything fits, a time when I was not overweight. If they can do it, I can definitely do it too.

I have made many attempts to get back in shape but usually I lose interest after 3 weeks or so. After all I can always buy bigger clothes. A good excuse to shop. But, after a while, I ran out of sizes to upgrade to and I am beginning to lose self confidence (thanks to the people around me)...which is defitely not good.

So, this time I am determined. I am sick of being big when I know I can be smaller. Since I know dieting is out of the question, I must concentrate on working out. Hopefully it will work this time.

This is a fight that I have to win. The toughest fight so far. A fight against myself. Wish me luck people..